Metamorphosis

Metamorphosis

Welcome!

I started this blog in 2010 as I began the process of figuring out how to have a more passion-filled life, leaving my corporate job in search of something more fulfilling. It felt like a giant push on my life's restart button and I wanted to share my journey. The road on that journey has taken a few unforeseen twists and turns, first colon cancer then recovering from alcoholism. The journey continues, I hope you'll join me from time to time as I share my travels to that passion-filled life that still calls to me.



Sunday, March 8, 2015

Hashimoto's

Hello again, I'm so glad to be back here (in addition to the blog on my website) and truly happy that my friend Elizabeth encouraged me to continue using this site for more personal blog posts.

I wanted to share with you all what's new with my own health.  I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, an auto-immune condition that in essence causes your own body to attack itself, several years back as a result of my colon cancer.  If you've ever been diagnosed with hypothyroidism then you most likely have Hashimoto's, although not necessarily.  An under-performing thyroid (i.e. hypo) can result in issues like fatigue, weight gain, dry hair and brittle nails, memory loss, dizziness, problems concentrating and many more serious concerns.

So I've been on a natural or compounded hormone treatment for some years now and at times it's been a non-issue.  But those times correlated with eating in a way that supports my body, and for the last 4-6 months I have definitely NOT been doing that.  I have gotten back into a habit of consuming  sugary foods (lots of stevia, maple syrup, honey and good ole fashioned sugar), wheat & oats, a little dairy and too much caffeine.  What happens in my body when I eat this way is it creates inflammation (and we suspect a bacterial overgrowth), which causes a cascade affect all through my endocrine system - from adrenals on down to my sex hormones.

A few weeks ago, when I realized I was having hot flashes (more than just a random 1x/day), night sweats and not sleeping very well, I went to see my practitioner who ordered blood work and a comprehensive stool test (yes, yuck) to see what's happening in my gut.  No surprise the blood work showed all my hormones are out of range, with my thyroid especially struggling.

Now I of all people know good and well that all good health begins in a healthy gut, and I'm challenged in that area to begin with, thanks to 3 surgeries, chemotherapy drugs, pain meds, antibiotics and not to mention a lifetime of drinking too much alcohol.  But sometimes my five-year old self just wants to misbehave, and my adult self just wants to "relax" and enjoy food like I used to - between the two of us, accepting reality can be a little challenging.

So here I am - I have gained about 10-12 lbs, I'm exhausted both mentally & physically, and I can tell I have a lot of inflammation as my favorite rings are too tight.  So what am I doing about it?  Well, I am cutting back and eventually stopping the caffeine for a while to let my adrenals rest, drinking more water, making sure I have good snacks in my purse so the pumpkin bread at Starbucks doesn't tempt me and keeping lots of ready-to-eat food at home so I don't decide a run through Jack In The Box is a good idea.  And I'm also looking into eating, for a while anyway, what's called an Auto Immune Protocol (AIP).  It's basically paleo, but with things like nuts & seeds, eggs & nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, potatoes, peppers) taken out and bone broth, fermented foods and more herbs added in.  I'm going to make more bone broth (you guys know I do that already anyway), add unflavored, grass-fed & organic gelatin to my foods and try some fermented vegetables.  Cutting out eggs is tough but I've done it before and truth be told, I do feel a little weird when I eat them.

The plan is to eat AIP for about 6-8 weeks so your body can calm down and return to a state of homeostasis, or balance.  Then you slowly add some foods back in to identify what you're having issues with, but I pretty much know already - wheat, sugar, grains, dairy.  I've found a great website, AIP Lifestyle, that has a lot of yummy recipes and I really love that she connects our food with our emotions (see: Pork Burgers and Trusting Your Life or DIY Red Wine Vinegar and Suffering).

Lastly I wanted to share how I'm feeling about this happening now, when I am trying to maintain energy around my new business Ellaquent Coaching.  I have to walk my talk, not just in the past or on days when I feel like it, but all the damn time.  My message is that certain foods, thought patterns and consumer products are very endocrine disrupting, and that just cleaning this up makes a huge difference in our menopausal lives - so here is God giving me the chance to live my own message. That my friends is poetry personified and I am grateful to be walking this path beside all of you.  I will be posting some of this on my website so I hope you'll check that out too.

I hope this finds you doing well - in the immortal of words of our now departed Mr. Spock - Live Long and Prosper!

Friday, February 13, 2015

I'm back!!

I haven't been posting here since my new Ellaquent Coaching website  went live, as I have a blog on that site too.   But, as one of my dear friends said, there may still be things I want to blog about that aren't relevant to my business.  This feels like one of those things that I really just wanted to share about.

What has been really big for me lately is healing some of my childhood hurts, and as those parts of me have finally gotten my love and attention, I am feeling a lot of things shift in my life.  My need for huge amounts of clothing, shoes, jewelry, beauty items and other "stuff" in my house has been lifting, slowly and steadily, for the last several weeks.  Recently, I pulled about 80% of my closet out, it's hanging in the garage, and my deal is that if I don't go looking for any of that in the next month, I'm going to let it all go.  It's been several weeks, and I can't even describe how good it feels to have less hanging in my closet.  Less to weed through when I get dressed, less to choose from, less to stress over.  Stress over??  Yes, stress over.  I've known for a long time that I simply have.too.much - but at the same time as it felt excessive, it also was never enough and I needed more, always more. Hmmmmm, maybe I've been trying to numb something. :-)

So now, I am ready to let go of so many other things.  Nik naks, wall hangings that I've had for years or that were my mothers, furniture that was in my childhood home that I've been holding onto for decades now even though it isn't my style at all and is far from practical,  fake plants (it's time for the real thing), books that were my mothers and anything else that no longer serves me.   These are just "things", which for a long time felt comforting.  Now it feels limiting, and it keeps me from letting go of the past and being fully present.

Things are shifting, I am slowly letting go and truly, finally, moving on.  It's hard, it hurts, but I know I am ready - it's time.  I feel God gently and lovingly pushing me, reminding me that I am safe and it is going to be ok.  This feels so huge, and so powerful, and I can't wait to see what will come from this creation of FLOW in my life.

Love,
Allita

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Day 5 of the "cleanse"

I put the word cleanse in quotes because I haven't been sure from the beginning of this if that's really the right word for what I'm doing.  In a sense it is a cleanse - I am not eating any of the foods that give me trouble (grains, dairy, sugar), and for the first 3 days I consumed only vegetables, broth and fruit.   Also for those first 5 days I didn't drink any coffee, caffeinated or not.  This morning, I am thoroughly enjoying a cup of home made organic half-decaf coffee - man I missed this!  But by some people's standards this isn't really a cleanse, I just was at a loss for a better word.

Yesterday was a really busy, full day of volunteering from 10-3 and then running a bunch of errands. Breakfast was a poached egg and some applesauce and then I snacked on some cashews and an apple at mid-day.  By 4pm I had stopped at Mod Market for a spinach salad w chicken, which I only ate a few bites of as I was on the run.  Got home and finished my salad with more chicken at home, some beets & spicy pumpkin seeds.  Last night I had a few bites of an apple with almond butter, and that was it for the day.  I went to bed feeling satiated, although my tummy was somewhat unhappy with all that raw spinach - sometimes that's a little problematic for me.   But my take away from yesterday was that I did a great job of managing my blood sugar (by drinking plenty of clean water with tangerine essential oil)  and making good food choices in a very busy day.

The other food that I haven't indulged in for the last 6 days is my beloved bacon.  :-)  God, I love bacon, and was eating it pretty often.  I miss it for sure, but getting that sodium out of my system is a good thing, and it was becoming yet another obsession.

And since I don't feel very good when I eat eggs too often, I skipped them this morning.  I sauteed onion, mushrooms, spinach, added some cooked sweet potato and left over chicken - that along with some strawberries & cherries made a delicious breakfast that will give me the energy to power through this day of house cleaning & dryer repair.  :-)   Later this afternoon I will probably have some riced cauliflower, sauteed with onion and chopped broccoli and add a little ground beef.   Either that or more of the chicken soup I threw together the other night.   I always feel better when I eat only two main meals a day, with a little snack or two in between.  It's easier to get to sleep at night when I haven't eaten for the past 4-5 hours - my cancer modified GI system seems to kick into full gear late at night as it is. :-(

Stepping on the scale this morning was further reinforcement that I'm on the right track, as I was down still another pound (4-5 lbs total lost in the last 6 days).  I'd like to get back down to where I was when I felt at my best, which is another 5-6 pounds.  As long as I keep listening to my body and giving it what IT wants (not what my emotions want) I know that will happen.  Yes it takes discipline to turn down sugar and other yumminess this time of year, but since getting sober I really like not facing the new year with a feeling of having over indulged.  I have big, big plans for 2015 and my intuition is guiding me to prepare for it now, and get ready for a great year.  And I have more than earned it!

Happy Sunday, blessings to all! Thanks for listening. :-)




Friday, December 12, 2014

Cleanse Update - Days 3 & 4

Sorry there was no post yesterday, I was running all day with no chance to update.  Today has been much the same, so this is coming pretty late.

My cleansing got a little goofy yesterday, due to my crazy schedule and making friend time one of my priorities.  That translated into being at a restaurant for lunch at 2pm, hungry, knowing I wouldn't be home until after 5.  So I made the best choice I could; a plain burger patty wrapped in lettuce leaves (I ate half) and a side salad with my own dressing (olive oil & lemon that I brought from home - yay for a little planning ahead).  Not bad, just a day ahead of when I planned to add some solid food as I decided smoothies probably wouldn't feel much better in my body than the juicing had.

So last night I had a nice salad with spinach, beets, carrots - it was very comforting and cleansing. Afterwards I had some thawed out frozen tart cherries - yummy desert, lots of antioxidants, low glycemic so not a big hit to my blood sugar.  Went to bed feeling really good - I actually think the protein from the burger gave me energy & sustenance that was very supportive.

This morning I had an egg scrambled with some veggies, and a 1/2 apple.  Delicious and kept me satisfied until about 2pm, when I once again found myself away from home and in need of food.  I had a couple of almonds and some in-season fruit, which gave me fat & carbs to tide me over.  When I got home I added some sauteed chicken & fresh veggies to my bone broth,  enjoying a nice warm bowl of soup for an early dinner.  Another 1/2 apple and a cup of tea and day 4 is a wrap!

I'm feeling really good, no sugar cravings at all today.  The eczema on my eyes has calmed down considerably, my hot flashes today were much better, and the last two nights I have slept like a baby. One of my rings that was tight a week ago now fits looser, and when I stepped on the scale this morning I was down 3 lbs, which I know is inflammation.  All in all I am really happy with how I am feeling and how positively my body is responding when I pay attention to it.

Bella and I got out for a nice walk today, and it was really gorgeous.  I so appreciate my body for all it does for me, and I am truly thankful.  What a week it's been!


Thursday, December 11, 2014

Cleanse - Modified day 2

~ From Wednesday, December 10th ~

My first experience with juicing was about 3 years ago, not long after my chemotherapy for colon cancer had ended.  My trainer suggested it as a way to detox my body from all the drugs, and I was very excited to feel better - I felt pretty lousy at that point.  I went gung ho, juicing 2x a day, mixing up veggies and fruits to find a combo that appealed to me.  It didn't take long at all for my body to clearly signal that it didn't like what I was giving it.  I tried sticking it out for a while, refusing to believe that something I kept hearing was a miracle for so many people wasn't working for me. Finally, I gave it up, my body calmed down and I realized I needed to find other ways to heal.

By the time I went to bed last night, I was feeling much the same as I had a few years past.  I had hoped that this would be different as my body is so much healthier, but evidently not.  I don't know what my body doesn't like about juicing and in the end, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I listen to my intuition and respond accordingly with love and respect for my body.  So I have modified my cleanse a bit today.

This morning I steamed some veggies and added that to my broth - carrots, zucchini and baby bok choy.  It was delicious and I instantly felt better.  So for lunch I had a salad of baby spinach, cucumber, carrots, beets and some chopped pistachio's, dressing it with fresh lemon juice & olive oil, along with a cup of plain broth.  Again, my body responded with energy, calmness and a feeling of lightness.  Maybe my body just craves foods in their wholeness, which makes sense.  I even gave Bella some of the broth with cooked veggies and she loved it.  :-)

I am feeling much better today/tonight than last night.  I've been drinking lots of water (and making lots of trips to the bathroom), and I had a small spoonful of almond butter this afternoon for some extra fat & protein and that helped with feeling satiated. Tomorrow is day 3, which will probably look much like today with regards to food.

I don't feel hungry or deprived of anything, but I am fantasizing about cookies lol.  Cutting out coffee has made a huge difference in how my tummy and my nerves feel, but I miss the ritual of it. Food is so emotional for most of us, so was drinking for me.  But since cancer I thought food had become less emotional and I have been finding that isn't really true.  Food still feels like joy, and somewhat like a lover.  Interesting .....

Stay tuned. :-)




Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Cleanse Day 1

As I sit here in the peace and quiet of my home, watching the fire in my fireplace start to burn,  I feel immensely grateful for the life that I am privileged to wake up to each morning.   When not eating solid food for a few days, things like gratitude are great to feed my soul on.

The day has not been difficult at all, even though there have been some food cravings.  So far today I have had two mugs of my home made broth (cooked for 24 hours total - really delicious and flavorful), two cups of decaf tea and one large juice drink.  Here's what I juiced today:
1 large beet
2 small granny smith apples
3-5 carrots
2-3 celery stalks
1 small lemon (with the peel roughly sliced off or it tastes bitter)
1/2 large cucumber
1 small slice of fresh ginger

That's actually my favorite combination so I will most likely repeat that for the next couple of days.  I will have one more juice tonight, and that may be it.  I've done a good job with my water intake, so I am feeling very hydrated.  I have had a slight headache for most of the day but I expected that on day one.  I am denying my body the caffeine and the empty calories it's gotten used to, and a headache is a pretty normal response.  I am a bit tired and looking forward to a good nights sleep, which is not what I had last night for some reason.

So why a cleanse?  I know that word has become sort of a catch-all these days, and it seems to have different definitions and purposes, depending on who you ask.  For me, these next few days will be a chance for my digestive system to rest and heal as I won't be giving it much to deal with.  I am still nourishing my body with protein, fats and carbohydrates so it can run properly.  But by not consuming any sugars, grains, dairy, etc., I am letting the inflammation in my body calm down, which will further soothe my digestive tract, ease some of the symptoms I mentioned yesterday and help me drop some weight.   The sugar, along with caffeine, is also a stimulant which over time takes a toll on my central nervous system, and impacts my life on many levels, including my sleep.  Flushing all these toxins out of my system with the help of lots of clean, filtered water, will help me feel and sleep better, which will give me more energy and enable me to think more clearly, have better focus and mental stamina.  Plus I anticipate it will also help my hormones settle down, and I will have fewer hot flashes.  And when it's all said and done, I expect my clothes will fit better and I will feel better in them - and who doesn't want to feel good in their clothes (or out of them for that matter?).  All of this is, to me, a huge payoff for a few days of being a little hungry.

How do I know all of this?  Well, some of it is what I have read and learned from others, and some of it I just know.  I think we all know things - about ourselves and what is right for us, about the world around us and the people in it- without knowing how.   We all have inherent wisdom and we all have our own intuition.  I think the keys are listening, trusting and then leaning into that wisdom.   Not always easy, but for me, always worth it.  Ask yourself what you know, have always known,  yet can't explain why - what is that knowing telling you and are you listening?  If not, why?

I am exhausted so even though it's only 5:30 in the evening, I am going to wash my face, crawl into bed and read a bit.  Good rest is crucial to my well being anytime, but especially through this process.
Night night peeps, sweet dreams.  Join me again tomorrow for another update, I will hopefully have more energy.  :-)




Monday, December 8, 2014

Time for a cleanse

When your intuition speaks to you, how well do you listen?  Well, my intuitive voice has been telling me a good cleanse would be helpful to my well being at the moment, so I am starting on that tomorrow.  Thought I'd share what my plan is and will blog each day on how I am doing.  

First, on the topic of cleanses let me just say that I am NOT a fan of being hungry.  However,  I have become familiar with my body and it's responses, and here is what I am noticing:
  • More pain in my digestive system lately - this is mainly from all my cancer surgeries and obstructions, but it worsens when my diet isn't as clean
  • Increased & intense hot flashes and constant under arm odor - this too, I have noticed over time, is worse when I get too relaxed with what I eat
  • Inflammation in my body - my pants are a bit tighter yes but so are my rings and my boots, and this also explains some of the pain I mentioned above
  • An increase in eczema outbreaks, including one around my eyes that my prescription cream is not resolving
  • Increasingly intense cravings for starchy, high glycemic carbohydrates like baked goods, potato chips, bread, sugary foods, etc. 
  • More unexplained and disturbing dreams and nightmare activity
What I have been eating that is causing this unrest in my body is sugar, wheat and other grains, dairy, coconut, cinnamon and nightshades - these are all foods I am sensitive to.  If you're not familiar with nightshades, here's a great article: http://www.thepaleomom.com/2013/08/what-are-nightshades.html

Everyone has their own sensitivities, be it with foods, smells, sounds, people, emotions, etc. - the key is to tune into your own body's signals and then do something about them. I've given you a list of some of my warning signs, do any of those ring a bell with you?  What are some of your signals?  If you already know, that's great.  If you do not, becoming aware can be a huge step toward having the body and life you really want.  

So here is my cleanse plan (more later on why a cleanse and why now):
  1. For the first 3 days, I will drink home-made bone broth and fresh juices using organic, whole fruits and veggies.  Here's more info on bone broth if you are interested:  http://nourishedkitchen.com/bone-broth/
  2. On days 4-5, I will add a smoothie each day made with frozen organic greens & fruit with walnuts as the protein source
  3. On days 6-7 I will add steamed & pureed veggies to my broth
  4. On days 8-10 I will slowly add back in foods like sweet potatoes, nut butters and small amounts of chicken, turkey and fish. 
  5. Throughout each of these 10 days I will make sure I am drinking half my body weight in pure, filtered water to which I will add either lemon (alkalizing), tangerine (curbs sweet cravings) or peppermint (helps smooth digestion) essential oils to assist my body in detoxifying
  6. I will add 1-2 teaspoons of organic, unrefined coconut oil to my juices and my smoothies.  This helps my body assimilate the nutrients from my food and also provides the necessary fats for good organ function and to support my nails, hair and skin. 
  7. Lastly, I will be focusing on getting plenty of sleep (aiming for 8-9 hours each night), exercise, (outside if possible) and quiet time for reflection and journaling so that my mind can process all the emotions that will be coming up during my cleanse.  
So now I have declared my intention and you are free to hold me accountable (just beware, accountability is a two-way street with me).  :-)  As I said, I will give more details on what I am doing and how things are going in the upcoming days - I hope you will join me on this little adventure into a healthier holiday and a strong start to my new year.  Cheers!